Jill and Jonny

Jill and Jonny

Thursday, 18 August 2011

In the land of shorties...

There is a famous saying, reportedly by Erasmus:  'In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is King'.


This could be adapted to apply to our context:  'In the land of the shorties, the five foot nine (and a half) man is a freak'.


Jill and I went shopping yesterday afternoon in a local mall.  We thought that maybe I should ditch the "scruffy look" and smarten up a bit when going to work.  So, we went to buy some smart trousers.  The seller insisted that she had trousers to fit me and encouraged me to try a pair on.  I should have suspected there would be complications because, when I went into the changing room, my head touched the ceiling and I wasn't able to turn around (I had to adopt a 'drive in, reverse out' approach).  I thought I would give it a go anyway.

Attempt 1.  I was presented with a pair of trousers - size 'large'.  I have never, ever worn large clothes but accepted her suggestion and had a go.  I couldn't get them over my thighs (and I have skinny legs!).

Attempt 2.  I was presented with another pair - size 'Extra Large'.  I have never, ever worn extra large clothes but accepted her suggestion and had a go.  I got them up but couldn't get the fly up.

Attempt 3.  I was presented with another pair - size 'Extra Extra Large'. I have never, ever worn extra extra large clothes but she was blocking my exit and, even though she was small, she looked pretty tough.  I got them on but it looked as if someone had painted a pair of trousers on me!  The stall-holder insisted that they were a perfect fit though, I don't think she had made many sales that day!

Needless to say, I decided not to purchase...